QI’m a 32-year-old man and still single. Lately it’s been getting me down. Growing up, my parents always said I should focus on school and not get distracted by relationships, so I never saw them as important, even though I did have crushes on girls. I just never pushed for anything serious. Another thing that put me off was seeing school friends become young parents. One was a dad at 16.

I don’t want children, and thought relationships meant getting married, buying a house, having kids and taking on responsibilities I didn’t feel ready for. I wanted to travel and enjoy myself. It sounds selfish, but after a loved one died a few years ago, which hit me hard, I wanted freedom than ever.

Now I fear that my attitude has left me lonely. I want companionship, yet feel stuck and unsure how to change things.

I و and و a – تفاصيل مهمة

AMany people reach their early 30s without having been in a relationship. It is far common than you might imagine. When you say you have never been in a relationship, I wonder whether you might also still be a virgin. If so, this is nothing to be embarrassed about. It simply means life has unfolded differently for you so far.

Your caution around relationships makes perfect sense when you consider the influences in your life. Seeing friends become parents at a very young age can be quite shocking – the pressures and responsibilities of teenage parenthood are enormous. As you don’t want children yourself, you might worry that relationships inevitably lead down that road. But they don’t have to. Many couples choose not to have children, they may also prefer to keep their finances separate or build partnerships that look nothing like the traditional model. Companionship does not have to mean marriage, mortgages and babies.

I’m sorry, too, about your bereavement. Losing someone important can leave us feeling that life is unpredictable, short and even frightening – and as if closeness might risk pain. That sense of wanting freedom is not selfish, it is a very human response to grief. But it may also have left you wary of emotional connection. Counselling could help you make sense of these tangled influences and discover what you truly want now, as opposed to what old fears have shaped (see relate.org.uk).

When you feel ready, try taking small steps. Apps such as Hinge or Breeze, or singles’ events at boredofdatingapps.com or timeleft.comare popular among your age group. Local classes, travel groups or volunteering can also help you meet others through shared interests.

Most importantly, please be kind to yourself. You are simply moving at your own pace, shaped by your own life experiences.

or و you و your – تفاصيل مهمة

She is overstepping her role as grandparent

QMy mother-in-law is very controlling and wants to be involved in every aspect of our daughters’ lives. They are seven and nine, and while her help has been useful (she often collects them from after-school clubs as my husband and I both work) she rarely follows our rules. She lets them watch unlimited TV, eat whatever they like and skip homework, insisting we are making a fuss.

She now says she wants to take them on holiday at spring half-term. We really don’t want her to. She becomes angry when we try to explain this and says we don’t trust her. The truth is, I feel the girls are too young to be going away without us. How do we stop this escalating?

AGrandparents naturally enjoy spoiling children, but the level of disregard for your parenting creates inconsistency and tension – and it’s reasonable to expect your rules to be honoured. Her angry reaction suggests she may feel entitled to make decisions about the girls, rather than recognising that she is helping you, not co-parenting.

A holiday is not something grandparents can simply assume; it relies on trust, cooperation and your children’s comfort. At seven and nine, some children can be ready for a trip without parents, but many are not – and you are entitled to trust your own judgment.

to و and و your – تفاصيل مهمة

You and your husband should speak to her calmly and united. Express gratitude for her help, but explain that certain boundaries – homework, screen time, food – are important. Then address the holiday clearly: you’re not ready for the children to travel without you. She may be upset but stick to your views with consistency and kindness.